What if, it was never about the running?
The expected time? Our own expectations?
What if it’s – I’ve got a shot and I’m going to take it.
GB Beacons 100k was not my A race. In fact, it wasn’t on the race calendar at all. I had entered their Isle of Skye race but life happened – Plan B was made.
I’ve been thinking a lot about life lately. As a cardiac nurse, I’m often reminded how short life can be. This was rooted when we lost our wonderful friend Tash recently; she had a huge, authentic soul for adventure and it was always a fun laugh to be in her company.
This race was never about a start and finish line. It was about a newfound freedom; do YOUR best. No comparison. Thank you, Tash, for leaving me with a piece of you that I’ll forever be thankful for.
Start line vibes were fine, for it was not a race. 90-odd miles in my legs the week before confirmed this and I was happy for a long day out in the mountains – it’s summer holidays for the kids and as much as I love them (most of the time), training can get a little tiiiiight to fit in. A bit of a slog start along the road and some canal path, but I was already relishing in the freedom of a long day out. The weather was a little hot but bliss.
The first tops – Pen Y Fan ridgeline – you know those moments and feelings you just want to pocket for another day (or even the end of race day)? I felt alive, empowered, and a bag of gratitude on my back to be in the mountains at this moment in time. I powered the ups and soared (well, my version!) the downs on the next Fans section, keeping it all steady and enjoyable. There was to be no pissful performance with pissful fuelling – plenty of pisses needed.
What I do love about races is that people are there from all walks of life, and I love hearing their stories. Jamie, Charlie and I made a great team the latter half of the race and I was grateful for their company when the wheels fell off a tad as the stomach said no to food. Poor hubby Rhyds had been chasing me round all day and missed me at every aid station – with a stash of gels that I actually wanted. Doh!
But I still had fire. It wasn’t over until it’s over and I wanted to finish this race the best way that I could. For me, for Tash, for my family.
3rd female baby!!!!
First ever trophy – yes, I celebrated a little victory but also some problem solving.
We pause, we learn, and we grow.
Find your freedom. You’ll be more able than you can ever dare to believe!
Carolyn Watkins (Carz)
